Bringing in the scent of real pine indoors when the weather outside is cold warms the cockles of any heart.
An artificial tree tells another story. Even the most natural looking one takes forever to decompose. The American Christmas Tree Association in one study, recommends at least 10 years of using an artificial tree to raise its green quotient above cut trees. Trends in tree colors change every year, ranging from evergreen to red, to silver. Storing them is often a difficult task. However, these are getting very life-like, and innovative companies attempt to find easier ways to set up and store these trees.
Live trees are an option for some.
This year we chose to do something different. We bought several dwarf 3 feet Alberta spruce varieties. Using fairy lights and mini ornaments, we decorated all to place them in several locations. Odd number trees on dining table, a single one on the kitchen island, a couple on the front porch; we literally punctuated our home with these mini live trees.
I have a large yard, and I am fortunate to source my firs, pines, and holly as natural decorations. I also bought a taller live Aleppo pine for the central piece. I will plant this in my yard when Christmas this year is done.
Decorating outdoor trees with larger ornaments is another way to celebrate the season.
‘Tis hard to repeat this as a tradition, for how many trees can one plant in smaller yards? Unless you make merry with more friends of course.
For early Christmas gatherings or gifts, I hand out the fully decorated dwarf trees to friends possessing yards and green thumbs.
If you like the idea of using live trees, there’s also the possibility of renting. Some of these companies deliver and pick up live trees to your door for a fixed rate. After the holiday, they’re picked up, and the companies sell out the trees to landscapers. Here’s one example
However, it may be worthwhile to check if such companies include your zip code.
For those opting for cut Christmas tree, finding one with a cause close to your heart is another option. For example, a friend of mine buys out of the local lot to benefit the Kiwanis.
One year, we cut a small tree growing under the foot of a large one. It had no hope, and we decorated that ethereal one with very light ornaments.
To incorporate a bit more greenness in your act, try to go local instead of shipping evergreens from distant states.
Celebrate the holiday your way; with merriment and gift-giving, in ways that are religious, spiritual, or simply respecting another faith. It can be a celebration of winter or a wonderful holiday. Celebrate with family, friends, and loved ones. While wishing for peace on earth and goodwill to all, let’s also remember to extend some to the green, green trees.
See, I once tried to be
clever. With Generation Z, single letter markers feel unofficially defunct.
So, I thought it would be a good idea to come up with Generation So-Me. We live in times of Social Media, Besides, it’s all about ME, my SELFies, and all that yadda-yadda absorption.
Of course, we were raised to think it was all
about us. We even had our own space.
Remember, we learned to pose right out of the crib? The attentive lens followed us, as it relentlessly tracked our growing years. We got used to several versions; Grandma’s large iPad, mom and dad’s varied smart phones, video and regular cameras. They loomed over us like unwanted appendages, until we saw what they could do.
How
did an innocuous brag book turn into an incontrollable swag fest?
A worthy moment becomes one more addition to
the photocollage on impossibly perfect parenting skills. Our milestones become
their showcase opportunities. That frosted cake, this thematic party, these
creative costumes, those fun games; the ensuing celestial comments and heavenly
likes the world gives to perfect parents are preserved in albums stored in
clouds. We quickly learn views and comments directly correlate with the amount we’re
all loved and cherished.
Clips from all corners of the globe stream with
impossibly talented babies and children. They up our game to perform at
unrealistic levels. Mediocrity brings within us a crippling guilt. Every Youtuber
has something better to show. Where do we fit if we don’t perform?
There’s creativity in every picturesque shot
for your pleasure. We’re your gliding swans on surface, but webbed feet working
furiously under water, are for our eyes only. We learned from the best. Our
attractiveness is shaped by you.
In this modern world, it’s comforting some things
still are traditional. Learning was passed on from parents. Swanned-around in picture-perfect
settings for your delight, we relive memories from digital footage. Their
loving and private date night? Posted only
for thousand friends for approval. We’re glad they edited out daily spats. You
must admit, those memories are simply not attractive.
It did not take us long to imbibe this instant
gratification. Is privacy a privilege? We think reposts, retweets, and shares
mean the world really likes us. We’re so special, and we have much potential.
With good luck and work, we buy into the hope of joining influencers with
million plus hits.
Your
affirmations are Pavlovian reinforcements.
A perpetual onus is thrust upon us. We must make
the world like and follow us. We will get our ACT together. “Children should be
seen and heard; they’re performers”. We’ll complain and act naughty only if
there’s that promise of going viral.
Our parents have prepped us well to glide into
the world the way you like. Our early roles in parental Facebook world handed
us a digital album of endless pouts and profiles, angelic smiles and beatific
angles given easily on demand. Every personal moment is a (screen) shot seen
and heard around the world. We’re now primed to navigate every social space in
virtual, augmented and multidimensional, futuristic ways. Relax, we got this!
In a world where it feels normal to be trotted
out and propped up, have celebrities replaced thinkers? Are we are living in our
world or acting out video vignettes in yours? How did everyone count before
this democratic (small “d”) celebrity status?
They’re compelling, these likes and comments.
Why, seasoned climbers literally went over a
cliff in the quest to get one great “grammable” moment for you, their followers.
The importance of your validation to their passion of the sport cannot be
overlooked. Did
adventure adrenalin relinquish the driver’s seat to digital dopamine?
Big Medium delivers on promise to make a
celebrity of anyone. Narcissus did learn his lesson, are we about to learn
ours?
Is the world a stage or is the stage our world?
Should our reality be someone’s fantasy?
How do you want us today? Flexible or funny, talented or tacky, wonderful or
wacky? Do you like our thoughts, or do we put forth thoughts we think you would
like? Do we think independently, or do we think for how you think about us?
The cloak of self-absorption sometimes frays to
let in brief pinhole lights of critical thought. Could Gen So-Me not actually
be about I, Me, and Myself? Have we become enablers of different versions of
truth and Rashomon realities? Your viewing
power seems absolute, and you constantly sculpt authenticity. Sometimes, the
answer lies beyond echo chambers, feedback buttons and creative emojis.
Then
who are we really?
An exhaustion of thought must not afflict the
performing creature. Too much investment has gone on in shaping a persona with perceptions
of likes and comments, retweets and reposts, shares and clicks, bounce rates,
polls, and stats. Besides, the fear of being used or having followers stolen hangs
like a paranoia.
Look
Ma, you’re wrong! There are free lunches.
The
biggest allure is to become a celebrity with no entry fee. The promise of
digital equality means no one is barred from entering. It seems like so much
fun to be on top.
But,
did anyone see a board like this while navigating at top speed on the congested information super highway?
ADVANCE
WARNING
1. Prepare
to connect with thousands of impossibly perfect people all over the world,
maybe millions more!
2. Now
prepare to be lonely-actually very, very lonely.
Are we enviable enough? Can we influence in
likeable ways? Do you wish to be like me
without knowing you turned me into
what you want me to be? What is the
limited number of characters to grab and capture your attention span? Liking
mediocrity is no big deal when mediocrity loves you back. Are we influencers or
the influenced? And when in this vicious
cycle did we turn such slaves for world approval?
There’s got to be that escape key somewhere. The
pressure’s simply too much to bear. Somewhere in the race comes the realization
the summit is atop a dehumanized heap.
The unspoken mantra is to survive or to perish.
We walk adroitly on the edge of a sword with a
sacred knowledge: You have the power to pull us down as easily as you prop us
up. A twenty-year-old influencer’s vacuous life takes precedence over pressing crises.
The days of The Scarlet Letter are not left behind; we have only made it
worse. Public shaming has grown from the small-town level to global platforms
on steroid speed.
If we slip up badly, can we come back greater
or be that object of ridicule? It’s a fine art to spin crisis to opportunity. Can
we still craft a “just-enough” winning remorse to draw out collective empathy?
This Me in Media is manufactured out of
smoke and mirrors. The aggrandizing in the Me, Me, ME, ME
is alluring, but something’s weirdly off
in this “Me” detached from the “I.”
Big Medium is a celebrity equal-opportunity
bait. If I say I don’t want to be a goldfish in glass bowl anymore, will “It”
liberate or pour me out to dry? This Wild West appeal gives grease to squeaky
wheels. And those wheels run in tracks built with promises of autonomous
thought where collective attention is the reward. In this large grind of
things, will a thinking cog be a misfit?
I confess I sometimes want to share my honest,
unvarnished self. I can bring back the
original pictures devoid of airbrushing, skin-smoothening, and figure altering.
Will I still be of interest? Will my fickle following change?
If I hold ground with fair, independent
thoughts, can it help disrupt systemic flaws, or will the public opinion court not
allow for this? Will they crush my sincere intent, and spit me out as that
“how-not-to” meme? I don’t worry, for my world likes schadenfreude. They will
pile on the negative attention and skewer me with judgment. This will cement my
relevance, and a massive trend uptick will be my reward.
I’m not afraid of losing likes, followers, the
fame or the notoriety. If I get off playing by this system’s insidious rules,
it will not take long to be dropped like one hot potato. In the rolling feed of
instant gratification, the spotlight will not miss me, and I may even find
relief.
The real fear though, is
not in oblivion; it lies in being existentially forgotten.
In today’s world of
instant communication, is the Spelling Bee competition irrelevant?
The comments on the eight winners of the 2019 American
Spelling Bee competitions in an article in NYT vary from admiration,
congratulations, even disdain .One reader reacts the said article and calls
this challenge “anachronistic,” and it tests “one of the simplest measures of
cognition.” Another commenter congratulates the hardworking children, and
fondly reminisces over a time when language skills were valued before the
digital world took over. Others disagree, and see learning languages and
spelling correctly are not really important anymore with spell checks and
programs like Grammarly. Several others suggest a vocabulary bee would be more
relevant. The fact that most winners have ancestors of Indian origin cannot be
overlooked. Some commenters even go to say the Indian parents force this burdensome
path on the kids.
My take is simple. There’s much thinking and logic in spelling correctly. If I were given the word “anachronistic” to spell, I would ask for the origin if stumped. Of course, it would be Greek, and Chronos means time. I would find out the part of speech, figure out the prefix, and string it all together. It is neither a regurgitation exercise nor a lower cognitive function. The spelling also includes vocabulary and making connections.
I agree with all the congratulatory messages
for the hardworking kids, and I hope someday they’re worthy of attention to
find a place amidst the Kardashians.
For those who find this competition irrelevant
in today’s digital world, I have a small story specially written for your
pleasure.
One early morning, a friend sent me one
chuckle-worthy picture via Whatsapp. It is the periodic table for today’s
digital acronyms. I tried with much difficulty to find its provenance to
attribute accurate photo courtesy. However, this creative piece has gone viral
on several social media platforms without a definite attribution. For those who
feast on them and emojis alike, here’s my humble dedication of a text story
between two friends. Read the conversation and decode with the table below if
you are from an older school.
Photo Courtesy The Tech, as sent to author on
Whatsapp.
Ron: FF, RUOK?
Jon: ;-(
Ron: Y?
Jon: Cos BM &Y, NINJA
Ron: T+
Jon: CRBT
Ron: CWOT 2 B ;-(
Jon: EZ 4 U, not 4 me
Ron: BTDT, KIR kid,
T2MO
Jon TY, for SB me
Ron: NAP never give up!
Jon: TY
Ron: NBD, TB, OK?
PLO
Jon: XOXO
A week later, some good news
Jon: FF
Ron:Sup?
Jon: No more NINJA!
Ron: XLNT! Cos T+
Jon: SETE
Ron: MBN, NJOY!
Jon: ❤ job!
TY 4 UR support! MTF, SIT
Ron: GR8! KIR kid! LTR!
Jon: XOXO!
And for those needing some expansion, HWGA..
(Here We Go Again)
Ron: FF, RUOK? (Friends forever, are you ok?)
Jon: ;-( (sad face emoji)
Ron: Y? (Why?)
Jon: BM &Y, cos NINJA (Between you and me,
it’s because I have no income, no job, no assets)
Ron: T+ (Think positively)
Jon:CRBT (I am crying really big tears)
Ron: CWOT 2 B ;-( (Complete waste of time to be
disheartened)
Jon: EZ 4 U, not 4 me (It’s easy for you to be
that way, but not for me)
Ron: BTDT, KIR kid, (I’ve been there done that, so keep it real
kid)
T2MO (It’s time to move on)
Jon TY for SB me (Thank you for standing by me)
Ron: NAP!, NGU! Not a problem, never give up!)
Jon: TY (Thank you!)
Ron: NBD, TB, OK? *(No big deal, text back,
ok?)
PLO (Peace, love, out!)
Jon: XOXO (hugs and kisses)
A week later, some good news
Jon: FF (Friend forever)
Ron: Sup? (What’s up?)
Jon: No more NINJA! ( I found a job, have some
money and assets)
Ron: XLNT! Cos T+ (Excellent, because you
thought positively and acted upon it)
Jon: SETE (Smiling ear to ear, so happy now!)
Ron: MBN
NJOY! (Must be nice, enjoy!)
Jon: ❤ job! (I love my job)
TY 4 UR support! MTF, SIT (Thank you for your
support, more to follow, I will give you details, so stay in touch)
Ron: GR8! KIR kid! LTR! (Great, keep it real
kid, see you later!)
There, I tried to fit in, this product of an
older time. If you love the origin of languages, and enjoy finding clues in
words or learning new languages, then the worth of this competition is clear. Through
spelling clues, one can learn about a
whole culture. An example of a lake in Switzerland called by several names by
Swiss/ Germans, French, and Italian would respectively be Luzern, Lucerne,
Lucerna. Pronunciation is different and
so is the spelling. It takes a lot of thought to be a Spelling Bee beyond mere
memorization.
To those who disagree, I will use the expanded
acronym in conclusion; Peace, Love, Out!
″ You choose,” said the mother to the stubborn child.
“I am rock, and I will proudly not back down,” piped up the little voice.
“Pride is unyielding, be like water,”
“But rock is dependable.”
“Water is flexible, child.”
“Water has no shape, no color, no personality.”
“It is your choice then,” relented the mother.
“Mother, I will be firm like the rock on my choice.”
“I accept your choice, be the rock then.”
After that, she sang a haiku couplet in her inimitable way, as she went about her business.
″Haughty stands the pine Lightning spares the willing shrub Pride goes before fall.
The rock does not budge Water flows over, around rock, pebble, sand, dust.”
How do you escape reality when it becomes too much?
This is one-part rhetorical question. There’s simply no way of escaping reality. The answer lies in the latter part.
You just have to stay there and fight the fight.
Here are some ways to help.
First, reduce the stress
There are several ways of doing this. Repeat the mantra every problem has a solution.
If you’ve spent too much time poring over this, take a small break. Take a catnap, spend time with fun company.
Change your perspective
People climb the Kilimanjaro and Everest, conquering arduous terrain, roughing it out in hostile conditions willingly. Look at this as your adventure.
Lay it all on the table
Visualize this in your mind, and dump all the worries, the work on an imaginary table. This puts a welcome distance. It frees your brain to think of strategies to address this problem.
Break it down in parts
Separate problems instead of bunching all into one. This way you can target each problem with specific solutions instead of bunching your cerebral knickers in a Gordian knot.
Break it down in sub parts
Once you have identified each problem, break it down in smaller parts. This will make the humungous task less immense, and you will solve it bit by bit. On summit day of the arduous Kilimanjaro hike, they do it in the dark, so you will not see the immense peak ahead and give up. You look only the light of the headlamp to see your feet and the limited illumined path ahead.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Cultivate patience.
In this world of instant gratification, we all seek quick fixes. But a thorough solving of the problem is better than a band-aid quick fix with that unspoken threat of recurring problems.
Omit Drama
Take stock of situation, and look at it dispassionately with the perspective of a yogic seer. Do not get enmeshed. Drama’s a major energy suck. To resolve the issue on hand, conserve energy to use it wisely when needed. Save a bit of the drama though. Sometimes, a pity party for one helps refocus.
Take out the “My” aspect
Look at it as someone else’s problem. Often, we advise better when it is somebody else’s problem. This role play avoids unnecessary entanglement.
Be flexible
Understand there’s no one way of doing things. Be not afraid of failed solutions, and do not persevere on one thing.
First Pick?
Should you pick the toughest problem to attack first or the easiest? If you feel motivated with early successes, choose the easier ones first. On the other hand, if you choose the hardest ones to solve first, you’ve put the toughest ones behind. Or, you can mix it up with easy victories first. It’s like training for the marathon. Then, you can do the toughest ones in between, and finally wrap with with the rest of the easier ones for a cakewalk finish. Deadline is another important feature that will determine choice.
Take a break.
Sometimes the problem gets into a glitch, and you are stuck on one solution. This is the time to take a break. There are several choices.
.Exercise if you’ve been sitting for too long.
.Get up and move around, stretch, and take your eyes off the ball.
.Smell the roses around, hear the birds. Go for a walk.
.Do nothing, just hear your breathing flow in and out.
If you have other ways of self-soothing; music, hot bath for example, go for it! It’s not a distraction, but an encouragement to get back to finishing tasks ahead. It also serves to remind you what is awaiting once task is done faster and efficiently.
Make sure you stay nourished.
Always stock your pantry with nourishing food to feel strong and healthy. As you expend mental and physical energy, you need self-fortification. Junk food and soda make you ill at ease.
Get adequate sleep
Let go of all tensions, unplug smart devices, and breathe into your sleep. Park your problems outside the bedroom door.
Stay Organized
Use calendars, reminders, milestones, to-do lists to help declutter the mind. A simple whiteboard is a good thing to have with a check-off list for the day.
Revisit the problem
Avoid logjam. A reset releases you from a fixation in addition to relaxing the mind.
Celebrate mini victories
Pat yourself on your back, and use the warm glow to fuel the next solution. This can be a good addiction to have.
Take another point of view
Two heads are always better than one. Listen to other perspectives, but be careful not to let too many cooks in, they really do spoil the broth.
Let others in, delegate!
Sometimes letting others in to help can bring more to the table of resolution. Their unique strengths can lift you from sinking into a bog. You don’t have to do everything.
Take it as a challenge
Instead of looking at it as grunt work, look upon it as your own Everest climb.
Enjoy the process
Solving issues one by one is like doing a jigsaw puzzle. Once several pieces are on the table in position, it starts to go faster and gets very enjoyable.
Problem solving can be fun.
Give it all you got.
You will feel a sense of purpose, a higher self worth, and a meaning in what you do.
Offer Gratitude
Feel gratitude because you have the ability and the chops to solve issues, and this will spur you on.
One at a time or several at one go?
Solve issues one by one, instead of multiple in one go. This way your perspective will not get muddled. However, if you begin to fixate, obsess on one without solutions or at the cost of other issues, choose another. You want to avoid the analysis-paralysis conundrum.
Celebrate at the finish line.
Remember the time you reserved to celebrate when you have successfully tackled all issues?
Be prepared, you may feel a sadness and emptiness akin to mourning at the finish line. Instead, celebrate this victory, and remember life has a way of filling up your plate with more adventures you once used to refer to as problems.
Carl’s
a popular Zumba instructor. His moves and music are inspiring enough to gain
fun and lose pounds. His energy is infectious, and the room reverberates with
the intense routine filled with foot-shaking music. Lines snake from entrance
to exit, and the class is filled to capacity. Despite our gym membership,
people reserve a spot a few days before class by paying an extra dollar to
ensure they get a place.
Another
way is to get to class an hour early and get a ticket for class behind the ones
that paid.
Carl knows how to wield power over the class. They’re reverential to his leadership qualities, his hot Latin music, and confident dance moves. His exercises target several muscle groups including core, arm, leg muscles, and glutes. The sound of hands and feet hitting the floor, the peppy music, the claps, the whoops, make the walls resound. Despite the large capacity of the room and an air conditioning system working overtime, the room mirrors fog up like a steamy love scene in a car from some old ship wreck movie.
Last
week, there was no long waiting line, and that’s when we realized we had
forgotten he was on vacation. For those who came prepared for some High
Intensive Training, it was extremely disappointing.
The
substitute was quite a contrast to him. She was a young lady, a bit insecure,
and was not exactly an enthusiasm whipper-upper. Most everyone’s disappointment
turned to veiled hostility.
Her
unfamiliarity with the sound system got the class on a rocky start. Some rolled
their eyes behind her back without caring the room had mirrors. Her diffidence
began to swell, and it affected the over-all climate. The dance moves were not
on par with Confident Carl. She tried to get people to make some noise, but the
class did not oblige. A few snooty people left, and the instructor smiled
helplessly at their exit.
It
was hard, and my friend’s enthusiasm began to flag. She whispered, “This
instructor just cannot get me motivated.” I told her to go along, and
recommended, “Let’s make whooping noises to get energy up.”
Our
noises perked up the pace a bit, and the instructor smiled weakly in gratitude.
We also experimented some new subtle moves, and she began to imitate them.
After
a while, my friend whispered a goodbye to hit the elliptical machine instead.
The
teacher tried rearranging the formation, dividing up the rapidly shrinking
group, and even asked for song choices. Her diffidence grew, as people filed
out in the middle of a routine.
Somehow,
I completed the class. At the end, I went to thank her, but she beat me to it
instead. Overall, I managed to whip myself a good workout despite the average
lesson.
Carl
came back for today’s class after a relaxed break.
We
waited in line to get the numbers called. Since I got there ten minutes before
class, the last of the tickets were gone. I put my name on the waiting list,
and I noticed my friend. She congratulated on my patience, and all the others
complained how awful it was with him gone the prior week.
It
was nearly full attendance, and I was lucky to find the sole absentee spot. But
I was way back in line and could hardly see Carl.
He
talked about his vacation, and everyone crowed how glad he was back. They began
to stoke his ego, and I could see his grin grow wider. He satisfactorily
brought to our attention the attendance strength, mentioned he had text
messages from class members extolling his confident skills, and he thanked them
for missing him this much. People had also complained about the substitute. He
brought up the prior week’s class and said that he learned only seven people
stayed back until the end. Everyone laughed remembering.
Then
he with a hint of sarcasm, asked, “So, who were those people who stayed?′
People
scanned their head, probably to sneak a laugh at those foolish ones. Some out
of the few who stayed were too embarrassed to raise the hand.
Despite
the discomfort I raised my hand, for I felt bad for the substitute. It was no
fault of hers they did not like her in comparison to confident Carl. Besides,
it seemed somewhat unpalatable in staying silent for a herd this shallow.
Seeing me, a couple others slowly raised their hand, almost embarrassed for
having stayed in a “bad” class. The class continued to titter.
Carl
looked at me in the back and at the couple of hands raised peppered in the
crowded class. He signaled for us come to the front line. The others made room
with utmost deference, and he asked me specifically to take the most coveted
spot right behind him.
After
class, I went up to thank him. The topic came up again, and I asked him why he
used this unique approach to address it. He was with another instructor friend.
Quite simply he looked at her and said, “Haven’t we all been there?”
The writer hovers the nib over virgin-white paper. She waits for that perfect opening line, but it does not come.
“Instead of a constipated mind, I wish I had verbal diarrhea,” begins the first line.
The prurient beginning does not sit well with her crappy mood. Becka rips the page, crumples it, and shoots the ball in the circular file.
She begins again, “She was in deep waters, when the leg cramp began,” and then the thoughts stop flowing. She waits, but the writing hand feels a stiffness. Another crumpled ball goes in the basket.
“The father played with his child’s blocks,” she writes, but she can get no farther. She seems to hit a wall. “The block is in my mind,” she berates herself, but she does not give up.
“Another one bites the dust,” she begins, but with a new violence, she rips, crushes, and throws the snowy ball.
“Practice makes perfect,” she wryly notes, as it successfully lands in the basket.
“The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog, and the canine bared his teeth and growled.” This start seems to have no bite, and so it lazily joins the others.
It’s always a bit tragic to see new starts crash and burn; is this the end of the beginning?
“There’s got to be a perfect one,” she sighs, looking at the mound of balls in the waste bin. She stretches her hands, rotates wrists clockwise and in the reverse. She rises up, stretches, rolls the shoulders, and this loosens her some.
She picks up the pen again to finally put down a very satisfying story starter.
It is that moment when the primordial earth mother receives me in the most vulnerable state. She accepts me unconditionally, and I trust her implicitly.
I lie out on my mat in sweet perspiration and utmost clarity. I’m ready, so ready to receive her love.
I do not question. It’s the corpse pose, yet every single fiber of my being is most alive, and the mind in unimpeded.
She supports me, and my mind’s eye dispassionately watches heavy anchors float away. I let go of the straps of baggage one by one. She holds me in her womb, in her lap, in her arms again.
I breathe in an out, cleansing a spirit of judgment, resentment, control, and restraint. Shackles unlock and fall away themselves.
In and out my prana goes, and I am part of the living web. Gratitude and acknowledgment flow in and out in this single, yet collective gift. I am here; light, vulnerable, and completely open. I am strong. I am
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